Origin Of Martial Arts
original message posted by "Demon Buddha" <firstname.lastname@example.org> to rec.martial-arts:
- wrote in message news:389A6301.ABB847B7@netlabs.net...
- Lessee... ape 'A' sees ape 'B' (we'll call them Alan and Bob) eating a really tasty looking brontosaurus thigh that he just got from Thak's Brachiate-In. Alan decides he wants it... rips it from Bob's hands and makes for the opposite corner of the cave. Bob, being the kind of guy that he is, doesn't take kindly to this, so he walks over to Alan and > punches him in the eyeball. Alan gets kinda pissed at this and makes his move to get even. Thus were the humble beginnings of the Art as we know it today
reply posted by Mindgazer to rec.martial-arts:
Alan and Bob incident was not in itself the beginning. Let's consider what happened next:
Another ape C (we'll call her Candy) was secretly watching the savage warriors. When Bob emerged victorious, Candy said, and I quote: "Urgh! Uga-chaka-uga-chaka arrrrgh. Alan kaput! Bob mucho oooooh. Bob Candy eeek?" (Holy shit! That was awesome. You beat the living crap out of that guy. Bob is mighty warrior. Will Bob teach Candy kick ass like that?) Bob pondered the question. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah - he said thoughtfully pounding his chest. This was indeed a difficult task. How does one transfer the natural skill of the warrior to the novice? Banzai! (defend yourself!)- shouted Bob attacking Candy at slow speed trying to show the subtleties of brontosaurus thigh weapon. Candy fell to the floor cowering. Ugh (useless) sighed Bob. This was going to be a difficult one.
After much deliberation Bob thought that to transfer the essence of his skill he must teach Candy his understanding of brontosaurus thigh. He came up with the first ever martial art form. He gave Candy the thigh and ordered to walk slowly in the circle brandishing the thigh on every third step as if striking fear into the heart of the opponent. Unfortunately, Candy would drop the thigh periodically and utterly failed to look overall menacing. Angered Bob told candy to lift the thigh 1000 times every day for a month. Little he knew that this created the first ever martial art conditioning drill. In several months Candy was able to lift the thigh with one hand. The new problem surfaced, however. The thigh made Candy sloppy since she lacked concentration necessary to pay attention to the thigh and her own body at the same time. Also, Candy would get angry or scared easily in battle making her dangerous to herself. Frustrated Bob ordered Candy to hold the thigh in front of her motionless for hours, concentrating on the tip of the thigh. Thereafter, martial artists used meditation to make the mind as strong and as quick as the body. Even now centuries years later, men traditionally stare at thighs (granted, mostly young girl thighs) paying silent respect to Bob's genius.
One year later Candy was just as strong and quick as Bob but she still could not best him in fighting. Lack of experience was a major handicap. Bob would then walk with Candy their thighs touching(brontosaurus thighs, mind you) in a ritual dance designed to teach Candy how to read the whole opponent through brief contact with his weapon. This was the beginning of paired practice. At a mere touch of the weapon or body she learned to discern the opponents intention, strengths and weaknesses. Her eyes trained by meditation and paired practice made the opponents body an open book striking fear into the minds of the weak. Her hands were as steady as a rock and her body impervious to strikes.
After 10 years of hard practice Candy was ready for the real world. She walked out of Bob's cave and into the glory of the first invincible fighter. She got nickname Iron Thigh and a huge following. After yet another flowless victory a crowd of local kids surrounded her begging to be taught the art of Highest Supreme Thigh. Finally she agreed. The first martial arts school was born! The lineage of HST lived on for centuries in many shapes, forms and traditions producing thousands of fighters like Bob and Candy.
Bob's system lived on, as the first ever martial art, the first efficient system of martial skill transfer. .... 2500 hundred years after Candy's death, a young ape D (let's call him Dick) , practicing at Highest Supreme Thigh school, became disenchanted with the seeming impracticality of walking the circle brandishing the weapon and standing pointlessly for hours with a blank stare. The students threatened to kick Dick's ass so Dick swam across the river. Using the few HST techniques that he learned Dick quickly became a famous fighter among the ignorant bullies on the other side of the river. Without a good teacher Dick was faced with having to invent his own techniques. Being a quick student with decent grasp of fighting principles he would pick the best of all the styles that he encountered, or at least the best of what the teachers would should him. His body and his reflexes were that of a natural fighter so he made a steady progress with the limited tools that were available. In fact, when HST school sent their best fighter to get even with Dick for whatever it is he did with his free time, the match was more or less an even one, although both sides claim having spared the opponents life.
Finally, Dick decided to create a new style of no style: No Thigh Do, he called it originally, although later he thought that the name Just Kill Do describes his philosophy better. JKD attracted thousands of pupils. Intellectually, his concepts wowed and inspired everyone. When it came to teaching, though, Dick has utterly failed to transfer his physical skills to his students. Not one was like him, not one was able to acquire his natural ability. Fragmented knowledge of different systems did not produce a consistent skill building procedure of a real art. Since JKD was not really a style, every student had to have an innate ability, both physical and intellectual, to be able to assimilate the best of diverse martial arts which were never meant to be studied together. After Dick's death, Just Kill Do became a money making machine destined to become extinct just like the unfortunate brontosaurus whose thigh started it all. Without a good foundation the building is always ready to tumble. When it would take an average student 10 years to perfect any traditional art, a JKD student was required to digest the product of 10 years worth of training in a few weeks of seminars.
The Martial World came full circle: In the beginning there was a fighter without an art, then there was an art without a fighter, producing once again, a fighter without an art.
FIRST, there was a fighter, THEN there was an art.